When our second-born was about five, he observed - apparently unprovoked - that it seemed to him “like everyone else is a robot and I’m the only real person!”

I’ve pondered that comment over the past ten years, not least because I remember myself at about the same age having had a similarly profound (to me) realization that “I am me!”  (And I remember later, as a teenager preoccupied with fitting in, thinking “I’m so conventional that I’m … unconventional!)

Does self-realization come at the cost of minimizing others’ humanity, and/or our own? It does seem to be part of the developmental process to individuate by separating from others.  Look at the toddler’s insistent “no! I do it myself!” - or the teenager’s angsty “leave me alone! Don’t touch me!” 

 But uncovering the true self, the deep self, paradoxically requires that we draw closer to others through the work of the Holy Spirit.  Just as we limited human parents guide our kids in their growing as part of a family, in our home, God the Father guides us in our growing as part of Christ’s body, at home in Him.  The human comparison necessarily falls short in places, but I’m coming to realize that it is deep and it is true.  Surrendering to His work is painful. It requires time and patience with my limitations and close attention to my “judgy”-ness of others and of myself. 

It might be easier, or at least more appealing, to see others as “robots” - and ourselves as independent actors- than to acknowledge our shared humanity.  In doing so, though, we miss out on all God has for us and we sell ourselves short.

“…we are all much more complicated and various people than our lives allow.” - Lee Smith (in Dimestore)