ATTENDING: beyond the long white coat

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Limits

I’m off service for a week, working from home, teleconferencing into meetings about precautions and distancing and how we need to change the way we do newborn intensive care in a teaching hospital.


And thinking about limits.

Being home, without the structure of work rounds and patient problem lists and management plans, I find piles of books I meant to read, yarn I meant to knit, tasks I meant to get done (fridge cleanout! closet purge!). I make a list of work-related tasks: things to read up on, write, plan But I can’t seem to get traction on anything. I drift off into naps. I check in on social media for way longer than I intend to,. I sit on the porch and listen to kids playing down the street, birds singing, breezes in the trees. I binge-watch The West Wing in the evenings with my husband.


As an introvert, I love isolation and quiet - and I have so much to be thankful for right now - but I still question whether God knows what He’s doing putting me here in this place at this time.

I went for a walk the other day and prayed “Lord, I’m doing everything wrong - I can’t get anything right!” — and He answered by putting this bloom of wisteria in my line of sight .


He is doing everything right. He has made us all in HIs image and given us all we need: Himself. I am limited for good reason. HIs love is abundant, extravagant, eternal — beyond human understanding.

Thanks be to God.